Sleep baby, sleep .....

Some children go to sleep happily in their cot or own bed but many others need help in calming down.

A child between the ages of one and three needs around 12-14 hours of sleep a night; from three to five years, they need 11-13 and from five to 12 years old, children need 10-11 hours. The human growth hormone (HGH) is only released during sleep so a good night’s sleep is vital for a child’s physical development. The effects of sleep deprivation can cause irritability, difficulties with learning, low motivation, anxiety and stress.

Some people - sleep experts - say that you should leave a child to ‘cry it out’ and that, after a few night’s of crying without getting any attention, they will begin to go to sleep without any fuss. However, leaving a child to cry doesn’t actually do them any good. A baby that is left to ‘cry it out’ will eventually give up in the absence of any response and go to sleep exhausted - going to sleep in a stressed state from all that unanswered crying means they may wake up frequently in the middle of the night. Studies show that babies that are left to cry will move into a primitive defence mode, resulting in an irregularity of breathing and heart rate with high levels of cortisol released.

Without help, a baby cannot bring its stress hormone levels down or change their brain chemistry to allow relaxing oxytocin to flood in. To make that happen, your baby needs you with them to soothe and calm them, regulating their immature brain and body systems.

If a baby needs to hold on to you to get to sleep, then let them. Children cling if they feel unsafe and cling to you to reduce high levels of stress chemicals - they instinctively know that body contact with their parent will activate oxytocin, naturally lowering their stress levels.

Sometimes, a child is anxious because something has happened in the day to make them feel insecure. Just like adults sometimes need to replay their day to stem worries and concerns, it can help a child for you to tell them the story of their day - this will help them to process all the emotional ups and downs they went through. Reassure them that they are safe and loved.

You don’t have to sit with them all night. You can leave them in their own bed, say good night reiterate they are loved and safe and you will see them in the morning. If they get distressed, calmly sit by their bed until they feel safe enough to fall asleep.

Having a cuddly toy can also help a child to sleep - it can activate comforting brain chemicals. Give your baby something of yours to keep in bed so that they can smell you - the olfactory bulb in the brain, which registers scent, is next to the amygdala, the part of the brain that triggers strong emotional associations. Sing to your baby; have some skin-to-skin contact as this can help to regulate their body and brain systems; co-sleep - this is the norm in many parts of the world and, as long as you follow safety rules, will not harm your baby.

Sleep training doesn’t have to involve leaving a baby to ‘cry it out’ - taking a gentle approach will work without having long-term damaging effects. Leaving a child to cry can cause adverse changes to their immature brain systems.

What sleep tips do you have?